A child who stops talking after a family breakup is rarely “just being quiet.” For psychologist and play therapist Dr. Pavithra Lakshminarasimhan, that silence is often the first message, and learning to read it has shaped her entire career.

The Gap Between What We See and What Children Feel

Dr. Lakshminarasimhan, a psychologist, researcher, counsellor and founder of Mind Care Counselling and Child Guidance Centre, says her journey began with a simple realisation: what people show on the outside does not always reflect what they carry within. Over the years, she has worked with children, adolescents, adults and families facing anxiety, depression, behavioural concerns, learning disabilities, neurodevelopmental conditions and crises.

“I believe psychologists must be compassionate first responders who listen without judgment and offer support when it is needed most,” she says.

Across seven years of practice, she has counselled nearly 185 individuals and supported 30 people through suicidal crises, guiding them towards safety, hope and ongoing care.

When Play Becomes a Child’s Language

Her approach centres on play therapy, using art, sand play, storytelling, role play, music, movement and therapeutic games to help children express what they cannot yet verbalise.

She recalls working with a child who had withdrawn emotionally after the parents’ divorce. Rather than pushing the child to talk, she introduced drawing, colours and painting. Over time, shapes and characters on paper began to carry the child’s feelings, and eventually, those feelings found words.

“Play can become a child’s voice and an important pathway towards healing, resilience, and connection,” she explains.

A Model Built for Neurodivergent Learners

Beyond the counselling room, Dr. Lakshminarasimhan has contributed as a researcher. She developed the Ecological Attunement Model, which focuses on creating supportive and responsive educational and therapeutic environments for neurodivergent learners. Her work spans school mental health, behaviour intervention and special education, backed by certifications in Art Therapy, Play Therapy, Special Education, Trauma Prevention, Bullying Prevention and Child Counselling.

She also holds Lifetime Membership with the Association of Professional Psychologists and has been honoured with the National Excellence Award in Psychology, Counselling, and Play Therapy by Swarna Bharath.

Why It Matters: Connection in a Screen-First Childhood

Her message to parents lands at a time when families increasingly share homes but not conversations. One teenager once asked her, “How can I get connected with my parents?”, a question she says revealed how rare genuine connection has become in a technology-driven world.

Her advice is direct: listen before judging, understand before correcting, avoid comparisons, and appreciate effort over achievement. She urges parents to watch for changes in sleep, appetite, friendships, academics or mood, and to seek professional help when those signs appear.

“Children do not need perfect parents; they need parents who are present, understanding, and emotionally available,” she says.